Sleeping with Someone on the First Date
What should be the average number of dates before sex? Well, some conducted studies have concluded that for the sensually average person, you should count to the eighth date before taking things to the bedroom. This could however not rhyme with most men as they tend to feel sex is appropriate at any point from third date onward.
Is Sex on the First Date Normal?
This is the common question that races through the minds of two potential lovebirds while planning for a date. The truth is a direct answer, on the basis of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ could be misleading. The response that this question elicits largely depends on every individual. To one soul, sleeping with someone on the first date is not a bad thing at all. To another, it feels weird and more of a relationship killer. The ideas on how a first date should end are more varied when you consider either gender. The reality is, whether we presume sex on the first date as normal or abnormal, sex is a pretty big deal while dating.
Is it Bad to Sleep with Him on the First Date?
Stigmas about dates and sex have been around for ages and ages. There’s a lot of pressure on women than men to control the pace of relationships. Ever heard of the common question, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” There it goes! Most women will thus be questioning themselves, “Why give the milk for free?” Ugh!
Let’s face it though, both males and females have sex hormones that drive them. However, this does not encourage us to find hotties at a bar to quickly satisfy our urges. There’s beauty in developing your flower garden through the season until you witness it bloom in flamboyancy. This is especially so if you have long-term plans for your beautiful garden.
If we consider the other aspect of going through several dates before reaching the bedroom, any hiccup that catches you and ultimately ends the series of dates might leave you broken or grateful. One might be wondering what he or she has missed in the pants while the other might just be grateful he or she didn’t yield so quickly. If you want sex on the first date, don’t fear expressing your intentions. You won’t miss on a few cuties here are there who are okay with that.
What Should a Guy Do After the First Date?
Women usually come out of first dates with more questions than answers. Guys on the other hand might not verbalize all the questions loudly. They too, would be wondering if the feeling was mutual, she showed interest, she’s right for him, and what would be the expectations of a second date.
With all that shared, here’s what a guy should observe in contemplation of the second date.
- Don’t wait too long to text her: If you feel like you really clicked on the first date and can’t wait for the second, there’s no point in waiting for the exaggerated ‘three days before you text her’. Simply write something short, but suggestive the following morning. If you liked the date, express it in the short text and wish her a productive day.
- Avoid excessive communication: Even if the first date was amazing, excessive communication may portray you as lonely and desperate. Wait longer to express it even if you feel that you fell in love with her.
- Fulfill any promises you made on the first date: First dates are mostly about knowing what her favorite books, movies, music, food, etc. are. If a recommendation came your way and you promised to check it out, it’s really impressive you actually do. It could be a good excuse to start great conversations on the next date.
- Be suggestive and leave the ball in their court: It’s wonderful to make the first move. Even if she sounds busy, the ball is already in her court. Give her time to play it out.
Is it Wrong Sleeping with Someone on the First Date?
As traditional dating rules change, should the way we think about having sex on the date change too? Many daters are left wondering how soon is too soon. A glimpse on the guys perspective might surprise you. To some guys, sex is a yes, but the type of woman she is, still matters. Others expressed that there’s just something about a woman that makes them wait even if they didn’t intend to. Another group shared that they are completely turned off by a girl they date and take to their bedroom that same night.
To most women, ‘yes’ it is if you do not care for the guy, not thinking about relationships or just want to suppress your long-time sexual urge. Just remember to keep the sex protected as everything won’t be evident on the first date. ‘No’ to first date sex if he’s more of a keeper and you’re open to relationships.
Considering these women’s and men’s perspectives may help us form a resolved idea about sex on the first date.
I Slept with Him on the First Date, What Now?
First date sex is at times unpredictable. If you personally choose to have sex on the first date, it doesn’t necessarily impact your eligibility as a partner. Plenty of stunning relationships have picked up after the much-talked-of sex on the first date. Generally, sexing earlier if you click well together and with mutual consent, shouldn’t be a barrier to future possibilities.
As much as it might be disturbing afterward, here are things to remember after having sex on the first date:
- You’re not necessarily a slut or a stud
- He or she had sex with you on the first date too
- You’re allowed to want to have sex
- The right man or woman will not judge you
How to Date After Sex
You had sex on the first date and now your adrenaline has subsided and your breathing is normal after animalistic exhaustion of passion. How was it for you? A positive regard can guarantee a further good time. You won’t be afraid to share what you liked, or what you’d like to try next time. You’ll have to tread carefully though.
After talking and sharing out what thrilled during your first encounter, stay exactly the same as you were before you slept with him or her. Still let them chase you like the sex did not happen. Act a little bit more like a friend rather than a girlfriend. Control your emotions. Keeping cool will let them be the first ones to come to you. This might lead you to transition from a nice date to a dream date. If they’re blown away by your emotional control, they’ll step up their game and chase you more.
From the insights herein, unless you’ve made your personal choice to hold out until a specific dating milestone (based on your own reasons), you’re under no obligation to keep your sensual feelings on lockdown. Just keep vigil and tread carefully through it all.
